Natalia Nogal @quedateembarazada is a registered psychologist and coach specializing in fertility, pregnancy, secure attachment, parenting and family. Natalia joins the Ovoclinic family as a collaborator to help women and couples to increase their fertility level, carrying out a series of physical and emotional changes. Do you want to meet her? Don’t miss the interview!
- Psychology is a very broad and complex science. When did you decide to specialize in the field of fertility, pregnancy, and family?
When I became a natural mother at the age of 42 after some unfavorable blood tests. I understood that these altered values in my analysis could be the result of the stress I was suffering and an inadequate lifestyle. On the other hand, I had to work emotionally with the fear and anxiety that came from thinking that perhaps I was too old to be a mother.
- During the search for a pregnancy that doesn’t come, stress and low self-esteem are two feelings that tend to appear soon after trying. What advice would you give so that the search can begin to be experienced in a positive and happy way?
First of all, it is important to bear in mind that if they have too high expectations about when they are going to be able to get pregnant, they may become frustrated and worry too quickly. Therefore, it is important to start this journey in a calm and positive way, carrying out a series of actions that enhance the chances of pregnancy being achieved. On an emotional level, it is also important to identify and work on our “inner language”, so that it is “fair” and does not affect our self-esteem. All these actions, and some more, will allow us to live this moment with greater optimism.
- Genetic bereavement is a topic we deal with very often at Ovoclinic. What advice would you give to a patient who, after several failed attempts, has to start an egg donation treatment and is afraid that the baby will not look like her?
It is normal for a woman who cannot create a life with her own eggs to have feelings of sadness (typical of any bereavement), frustration, and anger. Therefore, first of all, she must “allow herself to feel”, validating and expressing her emotions whenever she needs to.
Last but not least, I would tell her that tomorrow she will most probably be surprised to see how much her son or daughter looks like her, as he or she will also be gestated inside her and will grow up next to her, learning to behave and feel as she does.
- Overcoming an abortion or gestational mourning is a moment that in most cases a woman lives in silence. How do you deal with this type of situation in your practice? What do you recommend in these cases?
Indeed, when we go through an abortion, we have to “suffer it in silence” because socially it is not recognized and on many occasions what a woman may feel at such a difficult moment in her life is often unjustly invalidated. Therefore, I recommend this woman express the pain she feels and work through her grief. In consultation, I accompany these women at this difficult time, helping them to identify and manage their sadness in an appropriate way. In addition, we find ways of channeling their emotional discomfort, always respecting their time.
- A hectic lifestyle, a poor diet, and unhealthy habits often have a direct impact on fertility. Do you think that during the search for a woman you should change your lifestyle?
The answer is definitely yes. It is important to get in touch with the moment we are living and with our purpose in life: to be a mother or father. In order to be able to gestate a life, we need to “be present” at that moment and prepare our body for it. I am aware that some women don’t need to carry out all these actions, but you don’t lose anything (on the contrary, you gain) by trying, don’t you think?
- Although assisted reproduction is becoming more and more common, there is still a certain taboo or secrecy on the part of many patients. How do you think they should approach the subject with their families, circle of friends, work colleagues…?
It is a delicate subject. My advice is that each person should deal with it in the way that is calmest for them at the moment. With the right communication tools, this type of situation can be handled in a better way. In consultation we work on assertive communication; which provides patients with serenity and a sense of self-control.
If you want to know more, don’t miss our talk “Support in the assisted reproduction process” with the gynecologist Marian Chávez from Ovoclinic and Natalia Nogal.
More information: https://ovoclinic.net/natalia-nogal-y-ovoclinic/